Fart of Darkness

Looking for woman to FART on my face - m4w - 28 - m4w - 28
Reply to: anon-fart@craigslist.org
Date: 2005-05-17, 5:48PM EDT

I am 28 yrs old, 5'8", 150lbs, mixed race very openminded, kinky, tend to be submissive

I am looking for woman of any age, any race and any looks who has the fantasy of farting on a guy and enjoying the fact that the guy likes her fart. I have realised that I get hard by a woman's fart. I am very orally talented and love eating both the holes. Any height and weight, just be sensual and openminded!

I am open to other experimentation. I can host or travel.

Birdparty wrote:

Are you serious? If you are for real, I might be interested.

Tom wrote:

No this is not a joke. I am for real. This is kind of fairly widespread fetish especially in Japan....

Hoping to smell your fart,
Tom

Birdparty wrote:

Hi Tom,

Thanks for your prompt response. This was my first time on Craig's list and I couldn't believe that I could find someone so quickly who complimented my own fetish so well. You see, I am a fart fetishist, but in a different way. I just really like farting.

I like the smells of my farts, the sounds, and the air. Once, I even lit them on fire, but I usually need a helper for that kind of activity as singed ass hair is not a smell as fragrant as a post-corned-beef and cabbage fart. (I call that one the "Bog Hopper" in honor of St. Patrick's Day.)

What is it that interests you about farts? Do you like the smell, the sound, or the feeling of the warm air blowing over your face? Where do you stand on queefs?

Tom wrote:

Yeah Craigslist is a great place....you usually end up finding what you are looking for....finding people into farting is not that easy though.....

I have not tried anything like putting farts on fire. But sounds fun. I would love to smell your bog Hopper!

I have heard about queefs but never experienced them, I would love to though.. Here is a link to queefing that you may find interesting:

http://www.collegesexadvice.com/queef.shtml

I really love the smell and warm air blowing across my face. Can you tell me something about yourself like your age, stats etc..it is just that it becomes easier to get comfortable with you. Actually I dont care what you look like. I will definately send my pic sometime later. I am open to meeting up in a public place.

Thanks and hoping to smell your glorious farts,
Tom

Birdparty wrote:

It's so great to hear back from you, I'd call your enthusiasm for farts a breath of fresh air if it weren't exactly the opposite! What kind of farts do you like best? The silent but deadly variety? The kind that are all sound but no smell?

I have another special fart which can only be produced by eating pickled kimchee that I purchase at Vietnamese grocery stores. I call it Agent Orange as it has occasionally worked as a defoliant and stripped the leaves from my house plants.

Like a fine and well aged wine, a fart's bouquet reveals its influences. Whether it be pinto, red or black beans, my well trained sniffer can identify where the burrito came from, and whether the salsa was mild, medium or hot. I enjoyed the recent film Sideways and I only wish that fart enthusiasts like us were as widely accepted as wine snobs.

I am not a fat woman, in fact, I am fairly attractive. But my high profile position as dog groomer to the stars requires that I maintain a low profile so I am unable at this time to send you a picture. I would prefer that we get to know each other a bit more first. As you can imagine, visiting Hollywood stars would be more reluctant to entrust their pets to a fart afficionado such as I if they knew. I once apeared in US Weekly and I am regularly recognized on the street.

So let's get to know each other. Tell me more about your fart fantasies and I'd love to see a picture if you are comfortable.

Poopdreams,
Flatulence Mistress

Tom wrote:

My Fart Mistress, thanks for getting back. I started with farts when I was 14...one of my neighbouring girls did it and I loved it. I like the silent and smelly but noisy is great too. I am not that all good at telling the food from smelling the farts but I hope you will train me well!

I did not see the movie Sideways, so what was about farts in that movie?

In case you are seeking flatulation explained:

http://www.geocities.com/southbeach/jetty/5713/farts.html

By the way farts from attractive woman turn me on the most. The kind of woman who are pretty and nobody would guess that this woman would fart - if she farts thats great for me, I get turned on like hell!

I am a bit confused about your location...where are you located? Are you in California? I am in boston....I assumed you were in Boston.

My biggest fart fantasy is being smothered by a pretty farting woman who sits on my face and farts and then I get to lick her asshole and pussy. What are your fantasies and what turns you on the most?

thanks and hope to smell you farts,
Tom

Birdparty wrote:

I am in the Boston area, Jamaica Plain specifically. I do "Lion Cuts" and I'm one of the best in the nation. Many celebrities fly their animals all the way cross-country just for one of my trimmings. You know Sugar, Liz Taylor's dog? I did her. I'm telling you though, the short-haired chihahua craze is going to be put me out of business!!

I read your fart glossary with interest and determined that I am a fart intellectual. What kind of a fart fan are you?

The film Sideways is about wine snobs, I was just wishing that our fetish could be so widely accepted as to warrant a major Hollywood film. I wouldn't be surprised if my own mid-life crisis involves farts.

I think that working together we can have a symbiotic fart relationship. Much like the bird that rides on the back of the rhino, eating bugs off of it, I will produce vile farts and you will enjoy their magnificant odor.

This sounds like it might be the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

Tom wrote:

That is one hot email! I am not an expert in dogs so I really dont know much about dog grooming as such. I guess you should not worry about being out of business, I bet you are one of the best, as are your farts!

In the glossary I am: Amiable: A person who loves the smell of other people's farts.

It would be great if someone made a movie about farts. I bet there is a lot of porn stuff around with farts. There is a lot on web, especially asian/Japanese stuff. In Japan you can get used panties in vending machines....I wish one could get farts...


Conveniently available at your local Japanese vending machine

Yes we could definately share a symbiotic relationship, you can ride on my face.....farting all the time. When and how did you discover your fart fetish?

Thanks and hoping to smell your fart.....
Tom

Birdparty wrote:

You seem to be very interested in Japanese culture. I am glad to hear that, as I too love hentai exploits, and I do not hold Yoko Ono against the Japanese anymore. I am especially fond of sushi, and after I eat a few rolls, my farts are so smelly and sulfuric that I call each one "Little Hiroshima."

The Japanese are very into bukkake, as I am sure you know. I propose we create a fart bukkake, with me repeatedly farting on your face after a nice big plate of beans. Now, there is a catch: sometimes, straining to fart as fast and furious as possible, a poop accidentally pops out. If I make a mess on your face, a shit bukkake if you will, would you be terribly upset?

In farts,
Your Flatulence Mistress


The mother of all farts

Tom wrote:

Flatulence Mistress,

Japanese have a great sex culture with all their fetishes - bukake, farts, schoolgirl panties etc. I would love to smell your little hiroshima! I would love to have fart bukkake, with you and may be other woman farting on my face. I am not into poop though!

I have attached my body pic. I am 28, 5'8", 150lbs and good looking. I am educated with a Master degree and work as a professional in the information technology industry.


He thought this was an appropriate picture to send?

I am open to meeting you in a public place.

thanks and looking forward to your farts,
Tom

Birdparty wrote:

I can imagine nothing more delightful than somehow being able to sell my farts via vending machine. I once stepped into an elevator that some one had cut a ripe one in and then left. The door had immediately closed, sealing in the odor. When I stepped in, the elevator was empty except for the odor. It was incredible, a fart like none other. I had to quickly glance around to make sure there wasn't explosive diarhea in there somewhere. I was travelling to the top floor of the building and nearly orgasmed from being trapped in there so long with that smell.

I look forward to experimenting with you on the fart front. Together we can sample different cuisines and the effect they have on the pungent bouquet of my gaseous emmissions.

In the same way that time of harvest, weather conditions, and a host of other influences affect the outcome of a fine wine, we'll discover together what ingredients create the perfect fart.

I love your whitey tighties. Nothing gets me hotter than a man in snug underwear, except maybe the smell of my own farts.

Tom wrote:

Do you want to meet up in public?

Birdparty wrote:

While I would be delighted to meet up in public, there is no way I would recognize you without a picture. Unless that is, you are the only man in the local starbucks in his whitey tighties. Send me a picture and then we can move on to the in person meeting. I am eager to meet you, so the sooner I get the pic, the sooner we can meet.

--Fart Mistress

ps coffee makes me gassy ;-)

Birdparty wrote:

Tom, where are you? I am incredibly gassy today and just took 2 extra strength Gas-ex. I had Pizza Hut last night. I hate to think of the farts that I have aborted, like fetuses in the womb, but they are like unwanted children in my office.

Help me create a loving home for my farts. Let's make sure every fart is a wanted one.